Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
