How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
