Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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