I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
