I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
