watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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