return my video game
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
This show inspires me to have sex in space
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
