That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
