We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i dont even know how to be here
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize