She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
