Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dmsalamander hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(323): View more from California

I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

Fav 6 1689 785
share tweet
(706): View more from Georgia

so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess

Fav 88 1036 5756
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.

Fav 13 4654 1553
share tweet
(239): View more from Florida

While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".

Fav 6 5411 1321
share tweet
(918): View more from Oklahoma

Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?

Fav 2 2300 1009
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.

Fav 3 1144 2421
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.

Fav 3 1824 872
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???

Fav 1 65 24
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

You're incredible, and I'm drunk

Fav 0 32 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT