handjob tips. give me some.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize