i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
