is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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