Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
