Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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