I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
