i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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