dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
