"it" just moved
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
