i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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