my phone needs a breathalizer
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
