You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
