If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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