Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
