sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
