What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
