I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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