True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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