i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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