He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
