you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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