I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize