all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
