...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
