whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
