its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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