i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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