It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
