i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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