I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
where does the pee come out of this thing
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
