I'm drive I can fine osifer
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
