I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
