Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
