Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
