i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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