waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
