Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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