last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
