Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
