can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
