i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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