why didn't you poke me back
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
