Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
