I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
