I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
