It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize