Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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