Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
