I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize